First Step.
- Brandon Edgar, MA, QMHP, LPC
- Jan 8, 2018
- 3 min read
If I am being honest, everything I have read so far about writing an engaging blog post that engages the reader and draws them in to choose to spend their precious time on my ramblings is so Not my style. Have I already lost you? Probably. (Intro was not only not engaging, but rather antithetical to my intent.) But I digress. How's the title, though? "They" say you should engage the reader with a title that offers some tips: "5 ways.." "Two ideas..." "Top ten List of..." And, I am sure the "They's" who tell the "Us's" how to capture the scrollers attention enough to stop the "You's" from engaging in the other gazillion options that vie for our attention are probably right. However, I must admit I have always gone a little against the grain with the "They's" of the world and tend to think our need is deeper than a "Simple, three easy steps." But, we must start somewhere.
This blog post doesn't offer "3 tips of a healthier you." My blog posts will never offer simplicity. Life and relationships are complex. Understanding in this world is dynamic and multifaceted. You may stop now if you'd like and resume watching cat videos. For those that stop reading, my approach is not for you, and that is okay, and cat videos are great! But, another 'To-do' list is not what you need. What you need is a Trusting Other. Someone with whom you are free from judgment and criticism. Someone with whom you can be open enough with that you learn that you don't have to be scared to be vulnerable with them for fear they may hurt you. Someone who will not use the information you've shared with them against you. Someone who will not "freak-out" if you have are having a "freak out"! Someone who can handle all the emotion that is built up from all the crap this life throws your way. There has to be a way to express these things to someone who can simply hear you. For those who continued reading, you've likely experienced this in counseling and can attest to its effectiveness in helping you move beyond whatever "stuck" place you are to a place where you want to be.
This Trusting Other is beginning to capture the essence of the vision of my counseling practice. This is the first, and most important step to changing the "stuck" patterns of relationship you may find yourself in.
The vision that I have is to provide space for my clients to wrestle with the torrent of emotions brought about through all the ways in which life happens. Torrential. This space is sacred and ought to be handled as such.
At this point, if you're still reading, you may be being berated by an onslaught of negative inner commentary, like, "yeah, right" "whatever" "who's this guy think he is" etc, etc. If that is true for you then this is the essence of change that needs to take place in your life. And counseling may be too big of a step for you right now. Which is a valid place to be. Talking with someone who has benefited from therapy, (who you trust ;) ) could be very helpful for you.
Once the foundation of establishing a trusting relationship happens then the sky is the limit with all the ways in which you may change and grow. Not simple. Not easy. A process that IS Possible. You are worth it.